My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
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We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
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Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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