Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize