I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
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I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
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So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.