We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I understand Curling. That high.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....