I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
