Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
