If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My bed smells like the plague
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