Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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