dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
