Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
