nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
