it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
