Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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