Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
