I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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