yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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