Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
