Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
my vag is so smooth its legendary
accomplished twins. life is a go
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
