$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize