I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
