I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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