Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Drake has all the answers
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
