i barfeds in our rink
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
