Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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