What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Drunk is not a location!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
