with your own penis?
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
