I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize