Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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