shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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