dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Drunk is not a location!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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