You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
