i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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