just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
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