Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I think my moral compass just broke
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