Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
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He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
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I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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