Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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