This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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