i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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