With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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