sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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