If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Success! We fucked roommates!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
