Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
its not stalking. its research.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Watching her eat just hurts me
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I wear drunk well.
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