I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
