i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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