Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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