mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
