Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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