This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
