I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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