so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
