I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize