I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize