Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
