operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
