Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
