My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
