U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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