i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
