i would punch a child for taco bell
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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