omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize