So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
